Using NLP Meta Programmes to Motivate Your Coaching Clients Part 6, Same – Different


To read parts 1 – 5, click here. 

The Meta Programme covered in this article is Same – Different

Imagine each Meta Programmes as a scale, with the most extreme example at each end of the scale. Some people will be extremely ‘same’ while others are extremely ‘different’, but many will be somewhere along the scale and some may be totally neutral in the centre.

When you are coaching you identify the Meta Programmes your clients are using by listening for the language they use to motivate themselves to achieve their goals and objectives. By matching their language you help them motivate themselves.

Remember people tend to use more that one Meta Programme and the purpose of these six articles are for you to recognise the different combinations your clients use, and match their language to help motivate them to achieve their goals.

Your same clients require familiarity and they will compare things they are being asked to do to what they already know. They can become very uncomfortable with change.

Your different clients require new challenges, to do different and exciting things. They become bored with doing the same things and can often reject any types of structure.

When working with your same clients create a routine for them. They are happy with appointments at the same time and the same day of the week. They require structure to their coaching sessions to know what they are doing. Always encourage your clients to compare any new things they are considering doing with what they are already know. This way they can begin to make their changes step by step.

Your language as their coach will reflect this. For example, if you are coaching a same client who wants to change their job, help them to identify what it is about their existing job that they enjoy doing. Link any new options they come up with to what they already enjoy doing.

Saying things like “you already have experience of this” “This is similar to what you already do”. Although your client has come to you to make changes, they could become overwhelmed if you are coaching them to make too many changes at once. The secret here is consistent, small steps to help them achieve their goals

Your different clients are the opposite they thrive of doing new and exciting things. Mix up the lengths of their sessions, where you meet them, the days and times of their appointments. Help them become excited about how new and different things will be when they achieve their goals.

As their coach saying things like “this will be a new challenge for you” and “ you have never done anything like this before “ will motivate them. These are the clients that you can be really creative with by helping them to ‘think outside the box’.

It is crucial that you work in an energised state and are spontaneous because these clients love working with exciting people.

It is estimated that 55% to 65% of your clients use sameness with exceptions, 20% to 25% use difference with same. If a client is at the extreme end of this scale they may be too same to make any changes at all or too different to focus on applying themselves to achieving their goals.

I trust you have found this six-part series useful. When coaching your clients it is not about you!! It is your responsibility to flex your communication styles to that of your clients, not the other way around – Enjoy helping other be the best they can be.


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